Mommytalk #03: My Breastfeeding Journey

Let's talk about breastfeeding. Before my son was born, I didn't attend any breastfeeding classes nor do I try to gain any knowledge of it. Yeah, I know I was dumb at the time. As breastfeeding is women's natural thing to do, so I thought, "Hey, it'll come naturally, I'll get the hand of it".

Oh boy, was I wrong about that.

Fast forward to the day my son was born, I have zero clue on how to get him to latch onto me. Mind you, it was PKP at the time, visitors aren't allowed so I couldn't get my mom's help. I didn't expect the nurses to guide me too because that's not even their job. So I followed my instinct and just guide the baby's head to my chest. It was okay at the first go. Overtime it became painful. I even had blisters and that traumatised me for the first two months. 

I stopped directly feeding because I couldn't bare the pain. I went full on being an exclusive pumping mom. Pumped all day and every two hours. Never skipping the schedule. I even sacrificed my sleep just to pump. Yes, I was very dedicated and consistent. The hardwork paid off when I can stock up a lot of milk supply until I had to buy my own milk fridge. 

I used Lacté Duet and I highly recommend this.

The first time I got a full bottle during confinement. I was so proud of myself.

When Musa turned three months, I knew I had to try direct feeding again because I want the bonding experience of it. I feel like I need to at least try once more and if it didn't work out again I know that I had put an effort for it. Now that I knew how to angled him and making sure his was at the right position, I was confident that this was going to work out.

Honestly, the sensation stings a bit but it disappeared after a few minutes so I was able to endure it. I'm glad I decided to try direct feeding again because the feeling is just special. Every moment of it was special. 

Alhamdulillah, I can proudly say that I'm still breastfeeding my son. I stopped pumping when I stopped working since I was at home all day so he kind of refused to be bottle fed. He's gonna turn two years old soon and I'll probably gonna wean him off slowly. I had introduced him to formula. He's okay with it. He takes his formula three time on daylight. Now he only requested to be direct fed whenever he wants to take a nap or sleep at night. Which I'm super glad but at the same time I feel sad that he's growing up too fast.

He's becoming a big boy. He won't remember any of this but the moment of us bonding during feeding will always be in my heart. Forever.

To new mommies out there, if you're planning to breastfeed, please:

1. Gain knowledge

It doesn't hurt to ask around, may it be your mom, friends who is a mother, lactation consultants, or better yet, go to a lactation class with your partner. You can even watch YouTube. Just to understand how breastfeeding works.

2. Don't stress yourself

If it doesn't work the first time around, take a break. Breastfeeding changes your body and it changes your mind as well. To some mothers, it could be traumatising. You're not a bad mother if you wish to swap with formulas just to get a breather out of breastfeeding. Your emotions and well-being are important too.

I hope my experience can help new mommies out there. Whether you decide to fully breastfeed, bottle fed, or be an exclusive pumping mom, what matters most is that your baby is being fed. Don't be ashamed of it.

Until next post, toodles.